There seems to be a movement among parents and teachers that values praising effort over outcomes. I think that’s valid. (Both are better than praising identity, too.)
But perhaps improvement is the thing to praise.
- Identity: “You’re so smart!”
- Outcome: “You got an A on the test!”
- Effort: “You worked so hard!”
- Improvement: “You really focused on x and did much better than last time!”
Improvement tends to come from not just effort, but right effort; from looking at the gap between where you are and where you want to be, then working hard and smartly to bridge it.
